A. The purpose of this policy is to
define the corporate defenestration policy and procedure. Most companies should
have a defenestration policy.† This model
is provided as a public serve and as a guide
B. It is
the responsibility of all department managers to enforce this policy.†
Engineering will provide technical assistance in all major defenestrations.
is responsible for replacement of any windows damaged in a defenestration.
E. The Defenestration Project Manager will approve access to
all defenestration sites.
F. The Galactic Director of Defenestration will approve all
- Always make sure the window is
open before you allow yourself to be defenestrated.
- Always grab your cloths before
you are defenestrated.† Going nude
in public is against the law everywhere except in Europe.†
- If you are defenestrated,
always look for a soft place to land.
- Being defenestrated from the 1st
floor window is not usually considered dangerous unless youíre also being
shot at.† Many true defenestration
aficionados look askance at 1st floor defenestrations.
- Never allow yourself to be
defenestrated above the 2nd floor
- If you have to be defenestrated
above the 20th floor always wear a parachute.† Below the 20th floor there
wonít be time for your parachute to open.†
In this case see the rule below.
- If you are unable to obey the
last 2 rules, flap your arms.† You
never know, you might learn to fly.
- Self defenestration above the 2nd
floor is considered dangerous.† It
is also illegal in most states.
- Always scream if youíre being
defenestrated.† This attracts
attention and everybody loves a good show.
- If you are defenestrated donít
expect anybody to try to break your fall.†
Due to the acceleration of gravity it is reasonable to expect that
your velocity and, hence, your kinetic energy will be quite high when you impact
the ground unless, of course, you learn to fly.
- Always ask people if they have
been defenestrated.† This is the
only way to meet people who have learned to fly.
- It is better to be the
defenestrator than the defenestratee.
- Defenestratees through a closed
window may become laciniate post defenestration.
- The inevitability of a
defenestration increases asymptotically as the defenestratee approaches
- Defenestratees may be
embrocated only with prior approval.†
Approval for post defenestration embrocations will not be granted.
- Defenestratees may be emulsified
only with prior approval.† Approval
will depend on the availability of a suitable body of water situated post
- Ones jocundity depends upon
whether one is the defenestrator or the defenestratee.